I want to be as honest as possible right now. I could have done more. I could have applied myself to get my lab equipment purchased and set up. Others worked faster than I did. Remi had an advantage, yes - he had a semester off from teaching. He had a bigger startup. His department has more research infrastructure. But I hold myself to a high standard, and I still think I could have done more.
I could have taught myself MD. I could have gotten to work sooner on the chemokinesis stuff.
Coulda, woulda, shoulda.
It's important to acknowledge this, and going forward, I will do better than before.
But I must move on now.
Now is not the time to look back and ask what might have been. Now is my time to see what can be. I will do my best to manufacture rods on Wednesday, depending on what Dmitri says. I will do my level best to teach the wains thermodynamics and heat transfer. And I will forge a path forward amidst the uncertainty, as I advised Shrishti to do today.
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