I am on the right track now. It helped to have Nathan pay us a visit last weekend. He had a positive influence on me when we lived together that lives on to this day. It was good to be reminded of that.
Being "stoic" is not always good. But sometimes it is what I need. At least, that's my conception of stoicism. Probably a distortion of the way the stoic philosophers originally formulated it. It's a bit like McConaughey's "less impressed, more involved" philosophy. It's about being level-headed and calm.
That led me to some good places today. I feel like I handled the usual business of the day more assertively than I have before. I beat myself up less. I built myself up more. I apologized less for small things. I thought before I spoke.
I think it's not unrelated that, while swimming yesterday, I had the thought to start going to bed and getting up earlier. To swim long course at least once before its availability ends on July 26. To go back to Orangetheory. To eat better. To drink alcohol sparingly. I can gain a greater appreciation for my body. My mind will be unshakeable. No one can make me feel inferior without my consent.
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