I had this thought about the sense of guilt I felt related to not having thanked the CHRB administrator for her message saying my grant had been renewed. I thought about it for a few days. Reflected on it. And eventually I came around to sending her an update email, asking whether they needed a 12-month interim report from me, and I tagged a "thank-you" note on at the end. I thought about it, and I did something about it.
Playing bass was really good tonight. It felt cathartic. I feel like I'm starting to get my chops back. I really like getting into this state where the only thing that matters in the world is the very next phrase I'm going to play. The phrase. Because that's when it feels natural and effortless.
More generally, I'm learning to settle into my own skin. In music, as detailed above. But also in science, as when I was working with Amit and Jorge today. It's a matter of leaning into the discomfort.
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