I started today with a graduate committee meeting with colleagues. And I had a kind of gruff demeanor...more than I typically do. This is because Bob Handler has been on my nerves lately, and it forced me to steel myself for the meeting to make sure I wouldn't take any of his crap. And as a result, I was more assertive in the meeting. I commanded the attention of the others in the meeting (or at least I think I did). I need to find a healthy way to trigger this feeling. I also need to quit while I'm ahead when speaking - that's something else I did during this meeting that seemed to work well. Another thing was to stand my ground, figuratively speaking, when arguing a point. I'll get there.
Had a promising meeting with the NIBIB PM. Afterward, Remi said "we're onto something!" or something of that nature. Let's try the experiment.
Finished by emailing back and forth with Shrishti. She seems as normal as anyone can be through email. Next week I'm going to show her the Jeff that was on the call earlier today. No wishy-washiness. I am concerned for her mental health, but we also have a PhD to do.
Maybe Laurie N-F was right. Maybe I need to speak to myself more positively. But I also need to be alerted. External catalysts seem to work the best. So maybe it's time I intentionally expose myself to them and/or think about them to start the day in the right frame of mind.
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