December 29 & 30

I'm having a good break. Have had some much-needed down time. Have gone for a bike ride or run every day this week. Getting plenty of sleep.

When practicing bass last night, I found that I got the best results when trying to have a light touch. As Carlos Castañeda said, "To be a warrior one needs to be light and fluid." (A book of mine, The Little Zen Companion, seemingly misquotes this to say "To be a man of knowledge..." this is something that Castañeda did write about, but in this case it seems he was talking about a warrior, In any case, I like it.) I remember thinking this when trying to learn the Romance from Lieutenant Kije by Prokofiev; one particular Eb minor riff needs a light touch not only to sound good, but for you to even get through it at all. And it extends to other areas of life too, as the Castañeda quote exemplifies.

Seeing the old-school "Unforgivable" videos really brought back some good feelings. Lifted my spirits in a way that needed to happen.

Elie Honig inspires me. He's scrappy. He seems to have a simple, direct approach to things that I will emulate in 2022. I dig his approach to work - dive in, full throttle, nail the details because they matter. (A Twitter thread he posted tonight, 12/30, inspired this paragraph.) I appreciate that he's unabashed about his attention to detail and his general acumen. I like his simple and direct language. He's good at breaking down complex legal concepts into everyday language, peppered with colloquialisms that spice things up. It's largely what I strive to do when communicating science.

So, in 2022, I need to be light and fluid. I need to go for it when it comes to nailing the details and the fundamentals. I'll be like the Elie of engineering. And I will take regular breaks to remind myself of the finer things. To do otherwise would be...unforgivable.

December 22

One year ago today, I got a positive COVID-19 test result and was scared for my own health. I remember the anxiety I felt when going to bed, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Now, I'm feeling anxious about the future of democracy in this country.

I am a real seeker after truth. I must strive to always seek the whole, real truth in everything I do. In politics it is no different. Tonight I am thinking about what I can possibly do, as an ordinary concerned citizen, to help the Democratic party keep the majority in both houses of Congress during the midterms. It's a tall order. But it's an impact I genuinely want to have.

It reminds me of the other arena where I dearly want to have a major impact: science. Sometimes I feel like I approach my research with the wrong mentality: like it's something I have to do. I psych myself out with it. But I need to approach it like it's something I want to do, because I am a seeker after real truth who wants to help other people. I must let that guide everything I do.

December 8

It has been a while since I've posted. Time has flown by, and we are almost at the end of yet another year.

I feel that I've made a modest modicum of progress since my last post. I've gotten invited to submit a full proposal to the DOE ECRP. I've decided on a postdoc candidate to hire. I submitted a proposal for the R21 Trailblazer award that I'm proud of.

But I need to push it to the next level. I need to be writing reliably, every single day. Make it an automatic habit, and one that I exercise out of enjoyment, not out of obligation. I need to hold myself accountable daily and weekly with check-ins on the FSP writing forums. 

I need to make a strategic plan for the next 3 years and for the next 10. The clock is ticking, and I need to have a good sense of where I'm headed. But checking my last post, at least things are still moving forward.

Gradatim ferociter.