October 20

I realized today that I have not taken full advantage of the Grant Training Center membership that I think I may have. It might be gone by now. 

I'm a little anxious when it comes to getting grant funding. The only proposal I have under review right now is the NCI IMAT. While I feel better about that proposal than the PRMRP we submitted on a similar topic, I still am skeptical about its chances. We didn't propose animal studies, and that is all anyone seems to want these days.

This weekend, I will have time to myself that I need to use. I need to make a strategic plan for the next 3 years, and specifically for the next year. It needs to have the proposals I'm going to submit laid out nicely so that I can start planning my submissions well in advance. This includes the NSF CAREER, DOE ECRP, DARPA, and various unsolicited NSF proposals and NIH proposals. I need to start shifting my bedtimes so I can get up and work on a grant or a paper every single day. I must master the art of grant writing. The only way to do that is to do a lot of grants, and get desensitized to rejection.

Some short-term things I can do:

• I need to get back in touch with that guy who does foundation stuff - Johnnie knows him. 
• Finally, I can consult Leigh about courting ONR program managers. This self-healing wetsuit has some promise.
• I need to talk with the DARPA guy about strategizing for my YFA grant.

I will get it done.

October 17

Edmund Portnoy Z"L (זכרונו לברכה) passed today. Sad day. May his memory be a blessing.

I made the most of it. Took another bike ride to Starbucks like yesterday. Answered a bunch of emails, removed advising holds, stuff like that. Now it's 1:05 AM, I'm up too late again, and I need to get to bed.

I wanted to make a quick entry to say a few things:

1. While on my run today, I had the thought to "just dig in" and get myself panting while on the run. That is the attitude I need to apply to my work as well. 
2. I must be relentless. I must budget my time wisely, heavily favoring the tasks that are most important.
3. When I got into the groove while practicing bass yesterday, it started to get easier. It was almost like, once I got into a rhythm and just played tune after tune, my attitude and approach to The Bass changed. I took more creative risks. I expressed myself more. I think I can apply this approach to research as well. This drives home the fact that I need to create, create, create.
4. Why not start my day with a smile, and perhaps a nice tune? Some Bach or maybe a chant. 

October 3

Today, I decided to just focus on reviewing Marissa's document for an hour and be done with it at the end. It's not perfect. I have more questions than answers. But I think this can be a good approach going forward. 

I need to get my ass to bed, but there is really some magic in finishing. 

Just declare at the outset: I'm going to spend an hour on this thing and declare it done when that hour is up. Impose deadlines on self and don't budge.

Break things down into doable chunks. Give yourself a definite time period to do the chunks. And then do the chunks to the extent that you can, and remember done is better than perfect.

Let's see how this does this week.

October 2

I am going to start reviewing my paradigms. I can feel them beginning to shift.

The people influencing me at the moment are Darren Lipomi and Stephen Duneier. I need to figure out how to integrate the wisdom they impart into my own life. 

From Duneier, the key is to master breaking large tasks into smaller chunks. This is something I've known about in the past, of course, but I need to do in a more concrete way. And make a definite plan to finish things, whether perfect or not.

From Lipomi, it remains to be seen, but I like what I've seen of his stuff so far. It was reassuring to hear that he didn't get any grants from 2015 to 2018. It's also good to remember that Bob Langer's first 9 grants were rejected.

I shall integrate the wisdom of others, but put my own stamp on things. Being myself has gotten easier over time.